Ouch

 

Sometimes, things from the past just reach out and slap you in the face.

I haven't been able to take a picture or video of Charlotte on my iPhone for awhile now because I had filled up my storage...AGAIN.  When I went to upload everything, I noticed a ton of space being taken up by text messages so I started deleting them since I never, ever do.  And there it was.

Jan. 27th, 6:52 a.m.

"Good luck"

Sent from my long term sub who I had messaged the previous day to tell her I was having Callie.  I was tapping her in, handing over the teaching baton.  I don't know why my message to her doesn't show up, but I'm glad it didn't in a way.  I don't think I could face seeing the happy message I sent to her having no clue what was about to transpire.

By the time this message was timestamped, Callie was at Children's Hospital and I was lying in a hospital bed in Reston trying to figure out what the hell had just happened.

Seeing this message stings, but of course there were so many others.  Messages of support and love.

And with a click, I deleted them all.

Not because they don't mean something to me- of course they do- but because I need to make room.

Yes, room.

Room for the future.  For the good things to come.  For the dimples and the giggles.  The dog licks and the tantrums.

I need room for these things.

But for now, this room feels pretty empty.